The Craftiest Workshop

I think every parent questions decisions they made or actions they took while their children were growing up. They wonder if they could have passed on more information; taught their children more things.

Quite a few people I know, that aren’t much older than I, have lost a parent or both parents in the last year.

I wanted to create a list of all the things that I feel I have learned from my parents; to let them know I love them and they did alright by me.

My Mom

Faith is important

We were raised Roman Catholic and our family was very involved in our local parish. We were taught the importance of prayer and having faith in what you cannot see. All of my siblings have gone a different direction in their faith journey and that is ok. We all had a firm moral foundation belonging to a church community which has led us to positive interactions and relationships in our adult lives.

Put another’s happiness before your own

I recall a trip to Yorkton with my parents when I was fairly young. Dad had taken the car and gone to buy bread while mom and I were still shopping at Zellers. Mom offered to buy me a piece of cake at the Zeller’s restaurant. We didn’t often “eat out” and it was a rarity to be alone with mom so this was an extra special treat. Back then there were no interac cards and my parents didn’t use a credit card. My mom went to pay at the till. She looked in her wallet to find that she had no cash. The only money in there was an old $2 bill. It was either one from 1954 or 1937; not one in circulation. She didn’t hesitate to pay using that bill and I wasn’t made to feel guilty afterwards.

When Canada discontinued the use of the $2 in 1996, she ironically kept enough of them to pass one on to each of her grandchildren.

Learning to bake and cook

I feel like I spent a fair amount of time in the kitchen. I recall using the meat grinder, helping make perogies and baking chocolate zucchini cake. To this day, my baking enjoyment comes from my mother allowing me to share her kitchen.

Writing letters

My mom’s mom, Memere, lived in Edmonton when we were small. We were encouraged to write letters telling her about school and friendships. All that letter writing helped me to become a better written communicator.

Laundry…scrubbing socks

I remember telling my husband after we got married that he would be scrubbing his own socks if he went outside without shoes. Just recently I witnessed my niece outside on the grass in her socks and I cringed…at least the socks weren’t white.

We were responsible for scrubbing our own socks on a washboard before they went into the washer. After a few times of using the Sunlight soap bar and scrubbing, you quickly realized how important it was to be conscious of what dirty situations you might get into.

It taught us to take better care of what we were given and to clean up our own messes.

Gardening

We had gardens at my uncle’s farm, a garden at my grandparents and then also space in our neighbour’s garden. We would “help” with the planting and harvesting. I recall the Labour Day weekend trips to the farm to harvest the potatoes and corn. Other times we would all be sitting with bowls shelling peas and chucking the shells into a box.

For me gardening meant family time and a way to celebrate the change of the season.

Sewing by hand

When I joined air cadets, mom sewed on most of my badges. At some point she taught me how to make a knot and get started; no internet available to watch YouTube when I was growing up. It may have been to sew on a button or a badge when she was busy. Either way, whatever way she taught me, I retained the information and have since sewn on many buttons and badges for my kids.

Knitting

On one visit home when my kids were younger, mom taught me how to knit. While I sometimes have to look up “casting on” when I go to knit after a few months, I never seem to forget the rhythm and placement of the needles and yarn.

My Dad

How to balance the books

I have always liked math and enjoyed solving problems. Dad was the treasurer for our church for years. He would count the money with another parishioner at our dining room table after mass. Sometimes I would help emptying envelopes into a pile in the middle or lining up the bills so the heads were all facing the same direction. When dad did the books by hand, making sure everything balanced between donations and expenditures, I would help if the math didn’t balance; double checking his work. It may have happened only a few times but it made me feel important.

Dad also always did his own taxes, on paper, and still does at the age of 86. He taught me how to do my own taxes but I cheat now by doing them electronically.

Saving over spending

My parents had their house paid off before I was born. Dad was always putting money away and got us savings accounts at an early age. We didn’t eat out or buy new things without careful thought into whether it could be fixed first. We got an allowance from our parents and birthday money from our grandparents. We were encouraged to save our money but allowed to save up to buy something if we wanted it bad enough. We didn’t have all the latest clothing or electronic gizmos but we had everything that we needed.

Try to fix something that is broken on your own first

I don’t know how many times I was voluntold to hold up the lawn mower so dad could work under it, hold a bicycle up so dad could figure out why the tire wasn’t spinning correctly, or hold a piece of cardboard in front of the car so dad could adjust the headlights. Multiply those tasks by six kids and there was any number of things that dad made an effort to fix on his own with some help from us. It taught us to trouble shoot, ask for help if two hands are needed and perhaps even a few new swear words.

Men can still be chivalrous

While this one may seem sexist and dated, it still feels nice to be protected especially when you are a tomboy. Walking with dad on a sidewalk, I noticed one day that he would always change places so that he was nearest the curb. I once asked him why he kept changing places and he just said, “a man always walks on the side where the traffic is”.

If you have enough, give to others

Our family had six children and my dad worked for the CNR. We didn’t have loads of money. The food from the gardens and meat from when dad went hunting helped to always have plenty of food on the table.

I recall times where dad would lend money to people he knew and they would pay him back when they could.

He also made charitable donations to the church and dad’s political party of choice.

Get involved in sports

My dad was an avid baseball player and my parents owned the bowling alley in town when they first got married. Dad was an umpire for years and we often played catch in the backyard.

We all learned how to skate, swim and ride a bike. Living in a small town, we were able to try many sports and I ended up participating in volleyball, basketball, soccer, track, cross country skiing, judo and bowling growing up.

Sports taught us the gross motor skills needed to play but also how to work as a team, leadership and the importance of physical fitness.

Mom and Dad

Volunteers make the world go round

My parents have always volunteered for things and only became busier after retirement. I was able to do a lot of volunteering myself when my kids were growing up. It is hard for people to understand that you don’t need to be paid for doing something; sometimes the reward is how you feel doing the task.

Take care of older family members

My dad’s parents lived only four blocks from our house when we were growing up. We were encouraged to visit them often. Mom would always make extra food or baking and one of us would go up to their house with it after school. We would sit and visit with grandma as she crocheted, grandpa would be in and out of sleep in his recliner chair and Price is Right would be on on the T.V.
I am disappointed that my own children didn’t have those kind of visits with their grandparents as we always lived too far away.

My parents continued to visit my grandparents daily right up until they passed away.

Explore musical interests

I was encouraged to take a few years of piano lessons in elementary school. I sang with our church choir with mom throughout high school. Dad joined too after he retired.

School band started in grade 4 and my parents bought me an alto sax. At one point, in our house growing up, we could have had a trombone, trumpet, alto sax and piano being played by different siblings; we all practiced at home. I am not sure I would have had the patience to allow all that noise.

Since I left home I have played in military marching bands, pipe band, handbell choir and sung in various church and community choirs.

My love for music comes from being allowed to try different instruments and not having limitations on practice time.

Reading is important

Books and magazines were always a big thing in our family. I am pretty sure that all of us kids are still book readers as adults. I have learned how important reading, and seeing adults read, is to a child’s overall learning.

Spend time playing games with others

When I was young, I recall going over to the Pennell’s, Brodas or LaRocques with my parents while they played cards. We played many board games as kids like Monopoly, Stock Ticker, Careers, Clue, Risk and Rummoli. With our parents we played Scrabble, Crib, Mastermind and various card games.

Our kids have been playing games from when they were very small. We started with games like Candy Land, Snakes and Ladders, Guess Who and Memory. We got almost all of the kids games at garage sales. Our family has continued our gaming into their adulthood and have amassed quite a gaming library. It is our favourite way of interacting as a family.

Aside from the enjoyment that there is in playing games, there are so many life skills learned while playing games. Things like math, social interaction, communication, problem solving, strategy, planning ahead and how to not be a sore loser.

As I look back at all the headings I have used to describe the skills and lessons that my parents have imparted to me, I feel that I had a well-rounded life skills education and was able to impart some of that knowledge onto my own children.